Odds And Ends

I plan it all and I take my place
You break your promise all over the place
You promised to love me but what do I see ?
Just you comin' in and spillin' juice over me
Odds and ends, odds and ends 
Lost time is not found again.

Now you take your file and you bend my head
I never can remember anything that you said
You promised to love me, but what do I know ?
You're spillin' juice on me like you got some place to go
Odds and ends, odds and ends 
Lost time is not found again.

Now I've had enough, my box is clean
You know what I'm sayin' and you know what I mean
From now on you'd best get on some-one else
While you're doin' it, keep that juice to yourself
Odds and ends, odds and ends 
Lost time is not found again.

Million Dollar Bash

Well, that big dump blonde 
With her wheel in the gorge
Turtle, that friend of theirs 
With his checks all forged
And his cheeks in a chunk 
With his cheese in the cash
They're all gonna be there 
At that million dollar bash
Ooh, baby, ooh-ee 
Ooh, baby, ooh-ee 
It's that million dollar bash.

Everybody from right now 
Go ever there and back
The louder they come 
The bigger they crack
Come now, sweet cream 
Don't forget to flash
We're all gonna meet 
At that million dollar bash
Ooh, baby, ooh-ee 
Ooh, baby, ooh-ee 
It's that million dollar bash.

Well, I took my counselor 
Out to the barn
Silly Nelly was there 
She told me a yarn
Then along came Jones 
Emptied the trash
Everybody went down 
To that million dollar bash
Ooh, baby, ooh-ee 
Ooh, baby, ooh-ee 
It's that million dollar bash.Well, I'm hittin' it too hard 
My stones won't take
I'm get up in the mornin' 
But it's too early to wake
First it's hello, goodbye 
Then push and then crash
But we're all gonna make it 
At that million dollar bash
Ooh, baby, ooh-ee 
Ooh, baby, ooh-ee 
It's that million dollar bash.

Well, I looked at my watch 
I looked at my wrist
Punched myself in the face 
With my fist
I took my potatoes 
Down to be mashed
Then I made it over to 
That million dollar bash
Ooh, baby, ooh-ee 
Ooh, baby, ooh-ee 
It's that million dollar bash.


Goin' To Acapulco

I'm going down to Rose Marie's
She never does me wrong
She puts it to me plain as day
And gives it to me for a song.

It's a wicked life but what the hell
The stars ain't fallin' down.
I'm standing outside the Taj Mahal
I don't see no one around.

Goin' to Acapulco
Goin' on the run
Goin' down to see fat gut
Goin' to have some fun.
Yeah
Goin' to have some fun.

Now, whenever I get up
And I ain't got what I see
I just make it down to Rose Marie's
Bout a quarter after three.

There are worse ways of getting there
And I ain't complainin' none
If the clouds don't drop and the train
don't stop
I'm bound to meet the sun.

Goin' to Acapulco
Goin' on the run
Goin' down to see some girl
Goin' to have some fun.
Yeah
Goin' to have some fun.

Now, if someone offers me a joke,
I just say no thanks
I try to tell it like it is
And keep away from pranks.Well, sometime you know when the well 
 breaks down
I just go on pump it some.
Rose Marie, she likes to go to big places
And just sit there waitin' for me to come.

Goin' to Acapulco
Goin' on the run
Goin' down to see some girl
Goin' to have some fun.
Yeah
Goin' to have some fun.

Lo And Behold

I pulled out for San Anton 
I never felt so good
My woman said she'd meet me there 
And of cource I knew she would
The coachman, he hit me for my hook 
And he asked me my name
I give it to him right away 
Then I hung my head in shame
Lo and behold ! Lo and behold ! 
Lookin' for my lo and behold.
Get me out here, my dear man.

I come into Pittsburg 
At six-thirty flat
I found myself a vacant seat 
An' I put down my hat
þWhat's the matter Molly dear 
What's the matter with your mound?þ
þWhat's it to ya, Moby Dick ? 
This is chicken townþ
Lo and behold ! Lo and behold ! 
Lookin' for my lo and behold.
Get me out here, my dear man.

I bought myself 
A herd of moose 
One day she could call her own
Well, she came out the very next day 
To see where they had flown
I'm goin' down to Tennessee 
Get me a truck or somethin'
Gonna save my money and rip it up.
Lo and behold ! Lo and behold ! 
Lookin' for my lo and behold.
Get me out here, my dear man.Now, I come in on a ferris wheel 
An' boys, I sure was slink
I come in like a ton of bricks 
Laid a few tricks on 'em
Goin' back to Pittsburg 
Count up to thirty
Round that horn and ride that herd 
Gonna thread up
Lo and behold ! Lo and behold ! 
Lookin' for my lo and behold.
Get me out here, my dear man.


Clothes Line Saga

After a while we took in the clothes 
Nobody said very much
Just some old wild shirts and a couple pairs of pants 
Which nobody really wanted to touch
Mama come in and picked up a book 
An' Papa asked her what it was
Someone else asked, þWhat do you care?þ 
Papa said, þWell, just becauseþ
Then they started to take back their clothes 
Hang'em on the line
It was January the thirtieth 
And everybody was feelin' fine.

The next day, everybody got up 
Seein' if the clothes were dry
The dogs were barking, a neighbor passed 
Mama, of cource, she said, þHi"
"Have you heard the news?" he said with a grin 
"The Vice President's gone mad"
"Where?" "Downtown." "When?" "Last night" 
"Hmm, say, that's too bad"
"Well, there's nothing we can do about it," said the neighbor 
"It's just something we're gonna have to forget"
"Yes, I guess so" said Ma 
Then she asked me if the clothes was still wet.

I reached up, touched my shirt 
And the neighbor said, "Are those clothes yours?"
I said, "Some of them, not all of them" 
He said, "Ya always help out around here with the chores ?"
I said, "Sometime, not all the time" 
Then my neighbor he blew his nose
Just as papa yelled outside 
"Mama wants you to come back in the house and bring them clothes"
Well, I just do what I'm told so I did it, of course
I went back in the house and Mama met me 
And then I shut all the doors.


Apple Suckling Tree

Under that apple suckling tree, oh yeah, under that apple suckling tree
Oh yeah ! Underneath that tree, there's just gonna be you and me
Under that apple suckling tree, oh yeah !

Old man sailin' in a dinghy boat
Down there
Old man sailin' in a dinghy boat
On there
Gonna pull man down on a suckling hook
Gonna pull man into the suckling brook
Oh yeah !

Now, he's underneath that apple suckling tree
Oh yeah ! 
Under that apple suckling tree
Oh yeah !
That's underneath that tree
There's gonna be just you and me
Underneath that apple suckling tree.

I push him back and I stand in line 
Oh yeah 
Then I hush my Sadie and stand in line 
Oh yeah
Then I hush my Sadie and stand in line
I get on board in two-eyed time 
Oh yeah !

Now, who's on the table, who's tell me ? 
Oh yeah
Who's on the table, who's tell me ? 
Oh yeah
Who should I tell, oh, who should I tell ?
The forty-nine of you like bats out of hell
Oh, underneath that old apple suckling tree.

Please Mrs. Henry

Well, I've already had two beers 
I'm ready for the broom
Please, Missus Henry, won't you 
Take me to my room ?
I'm a good old boy 
But I've been sniffin' too many eggs
Talkin' to too many people 
Drinkin' too many kegs
Please, Missus Henry, Missus Henry,
Please 
Please, Missus Henry, please
I'm down on my knees 
And I ain't got a dime.

Well, I'm groanin' in a hallway 
Pretty soon I'll be mad
Please, Missus Henry, won't you 
Take me to your dad ?
I can drink like a fish 
I can crawl like a snake
I can bite like a turkey 
I can slam like a drake
Please, Missus Henry, Missus Henry,
Please 
Please, Missus Henry, please
I'm down on my knees 
And I ain't got a dime.


Now, don't crowd me, lady 
Or I'll fill up your shoe
I'm a sweet bourbon daddy 
And tonight I am blue
I'm a thousand years old 
And I'm a generous bomb
I'm T-boned and punctured 
But I'm known to be calm
Please, Missus Henry, Missus Henry,
Please 
Please, Missus Henry, please
I'm down on my knees 
And I ain't got a dime.
Now, I'm startin' to drain 
My stool's gonna squeak
If I walk too much farther 
My crane's gonna leak
Look, Missus Henry 
There's only so much I can do
Why don't you look my way 
And pump me a few ?
Please, Missus Henry, Missus Henry,
Please 
Please, Missus Henry, please
I'm down on my knees 
And I ain't got a dime.


Tears Of Rage

We carried you in our arms 
On Independence Day
And now you'd throw us all aside 
And put us on our way
Oh, what dear daughter 'neath the sun 
Would treat a father so
To wait upon him hand and foot 
And always tell him "No?"
Tears of rage, tears of grief 
Why am I the one who must be the thief ?
Come to me now, you know 
We're so alone 
And life is brief.

We pointed out the way to go 
And scratched your name in sand
Though you just thought that it was nothing more 
Than a place for you to stand
Now I want you to know that while you watched 
You discover there was no one true
Must everybody really thought 
It was a childish thing to do
Tears of rage, tears of grief 
Why am I the one who must be the thief ?
Come to me now, you know 
We're so alone 
And life is brief.

It was all very painless 
When you went out to receive
All that false instruction 
Which we never could believe
And now the heart is filled with gold 
As if it was a purse
But oh, what kind of love is this 
Which goes from bad to worse ?
Tears of rage, tears of grief 
Why am I the one who must be the thief ?
Come to me now, you know 
We're so alone 
And life is brief.

Too Much Of Nothing

Too much of nothing 
Can make a man ill at ease
One man's temper might rise 
While another man's temper might freeze
In the day of confession 
We cannot mock a soul
Oh, when there's too much of nothing 
No one has control.

Say hello to Valerie 
Say hello to Vivian 
Give them all my salary
On the waters of oblivion.

When there's too much of nothing 
It can cause a man to weep
He can walk the streets and boast like 
Of what he'd like to keep
But it's all been done before 
It's all been written in the book
And where there's too much of nothing 
Nobody should look.

Say hello to Valerie 
Say hello to Vivian 
Give them all my salary
On the waters of oblivion.

And too much of nothing can make a man a liar
It can cause one man to sleep on nails 
It can cause others to eat fire
Everybody's doin' somethin' 
I heard it in a dream
But when there's too much of nothing 
It just makes a fella mean.

Say hello to Valerie 
Say hello to Vivian 
Give them all my salary
On the waters of oblivion.